Regrets

Yesterday I had a really great conversation about whether having regrets was biblical.

So, as the two of us spoke frankly about these issues we decided that it was really a matter of semantics: one man's regrets could be biblical, while another man's regrets might be sin (or at least a waste of time)... and if it is just based on one's definition, then we figured that we might as well go to the keeper of definitions: the big, red, Webster's on the shelf:

Regret (n): sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair

Well, hmmm. Then it would seem as if the operable word here might be "sorrow."

If your idea of a "regret" is saying: "Man, if I could go back and do that over again, I would," then we all have those. The problem arises when you model your life after Uncle Rico ("back in '84 if the coach had put me in we'd have won the championship"), basically saying that "because 'A' happened, my life is 'B' and 'C', and I will live the rest of my life in light of those consequeces."

Do I believe that I make tons of mistakes? Do I believe in God's providence in my life? Do I believe that I am the person I am today because of all the good and bad decisions I have made? Do I believe that God loves me and desires the best for my life? If I say "yes" to these questions then the result of my mistakes, my bad decisions, and my neutral decisions that ended with a bad result are all opportunities to learn and to be dependent on God. They are not opportunities for making excuses ("If this had happened, then I wouldn't have all these other problems") and they are not opportunities for playing the big "what if" game with life... that is a quick way to waste a few precious decades.


The Apostle Paul wrote this in his second letter to the Corinthians (in response to their response to his previous letter--which dealt with some harsh things):

Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it--I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while--yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10)

Godly sorrow becomes repentance and allows us to revel in God's goodness, mercy, and grace on our lives--it focuses on the wickedness of sin (which leads toward our own abhorrence of it) . Worldly sorrow brings death (both in this life and the next) because it is a selfish sorrow which focuses solely on the consequences of our sin (which are generally not pleasant and result in a "woe-is-me even though it is my own fault" syndrome).

So, no, I do not think regrets are biblical as these regrets generally cause us to be more focused on ourselves and less focused on God. If our "regrets" cause us to be more focused on eradicating the sin from our lives, rather than on eradicating the consequences of our sin from our lives, then they are useful for a time in order to understand better what God has done for us.